What I Saw At The Gym: Kind Of Like A Solar Eclipse

Is just me or are some of the things that folks wear tooutside. They care about results and it shows.
the gym enough to burn your retina, permanently? YouStuck In The 70's: Tennis shorts, tucked in shirt, ankle
know like a solar eclipse when the experts warn thathigh white socks with a portable 8 track player. All right
looking right at it without a filter will cause irreparableI exaggerate, but not by much. These folks, again hard
damage. Read on for details but be warned, this willworking, need to get one foot into the current
not be pretty.millennium.
Here the deal: I am not a high fashion gym guy. I'll wearTMI (Too Much Information): Let's be clear here, no one
an occasional Nike short and even more occasionallyI know wants to see that much of you or your parts.
a logo shirt. On the other hand the sights I see at theJust the other day I was doing a stretch on the floor.
gym can really hurt your eyes if you look too long orThe women next to me, all of 7 feet away, was
stare too hard. So as not be sexist please know thatsplayed over a ball in a tight thin cotton leotard like
the conditions and descriptions mentioned herein applygarment. She was not wearing any undergarments,
to both men and women.this was obvious because in one glance I knew the
There are likely categories for the attire peoplecamel toe had been spotted and refused to look back.
choose to wear to workout and if there are no formalYes I am a healthy hetero male and no I do not need
ones then I am here to make them up. The way I seethat much information. The male counterpart (perhaps
it breaks down like this:they are related) insists on wearing short running
Terminally Fashionable: This god or goddess ofshorts, again without any undergarments. I fondly call
workout is adorned head to toe in logo madness. Shirt,him FedEx because his package delivers at the gym.
pants or shorts (or both), socks, shoes and hat allAgain TMI!
perfectly aligned. These are the same folks that seemOne thing that all these ladies and gentlemen have in
to not sweat and may well send their workout clothescommon is a desire to get off their butts and get to
to the dry cleaner for that "just pressed" look. Thesethe gym. They are light years ahead of the slugs that
are some of the same fabulous people that use theare sitting on the couch eating Twinkies and chasing
cell phone while walking the treadmill.them with beer. I am of the mind that those are treats
The Rumpled Ones: Though this can happen any dayto have after you have done the workout! The reality
or time of the week, I find it to be especially prevalentis that what people wear is meaningless, fun to watch
on weekend mornings, say around 7 or 8 a.m. Bedand write about, but meaningless none-the-less. This
head in place, crusty eyes, the "what the hell am Iapplies to everyone except FedEx. Please, I implore
doing here after the thing I did last night" look; youyou for the sake of mankind, wear something under
know the ones. They do have a certain elegance inthose short shorts or take a cue from the Terminally
their wrinkled shirts and long, made for the beach,Fashionable and spend a couple of bucks to get your
board shorts. One thing I found to be true though isworkout wardrobe an extreme makeover. If you don't
that they are determined to work hard and I havecover up others will run the risk of permanent retina
watched their improvements over time. I applaud thesedamage, just like a solar eclipse.
folks for not caring about what's going on superficially