| Is just me or are some of the things that | | | | superficially outside. They care about |
| folks wear to the gym enough to burn your | | | | results and it shows. |
| retina, permanently? You know like a solar | | | | |
| eclipse when the experts warn that looking | | | | Stuck In The 70's: Tennis shorts, tucked in |
| right at it without a filter will cause | | | | shirt, ankle high white socks with a portable |
| irreparable damage. Read on for details but | | | | 8 track player. All right I exaggerate, but |
| be warned, this will not be pretty. | | | | not by much. These folks, again hard working, |
| | | | need to get one foot into the current |
| Here the deal: I am not a high fashion gym | | | | millennium. |
| guy. I'll wear an occasional Nike short and | | | | |
| even more occasionally a logo shirt. On the | | | | TMI (Too Much Information): Let's be clear |
| other hand the sights I see at the gym can | | | | here, no one I know wants to see that much of |
| really hurt your eyes if you look too long or | | | | you or your parts. Just the other day I was |
| stare too hard. So as not be sexist please | | | | doing a stretch on the floor. The women next |
| know that the conditions and descriptions | | | | to me, all of 7 feet away, was splayed over a |
| mentioned herein apply to both men and women. | | | | ball in a tight thin cotton leotard like |
| | | | garment. She was not wearing any |
| There are likely categories for the attire | | | | undergarments, this was obvious because in |
| people choose to wear to workout and if there | | | | one glance I knew the camel toe had been |
| are no formal ones then I am here to make | | | | spotted and refused to look back. Yes I am a |
| them up. The way I see it breaks down like | | | | healthy hetero male and no I do not need that |
| this: | | | | much information. The male counterpart |
| | | | (perhaps they are related) insists on wearing |
| Terminally Fashionable: This god or goddess | | | | short running shorts, again without any |
| of workout is adorned head to toe in logo | | | | undergarments. I fondly call him FedEx |
| madness. Shirt, pants or shorts (or both), | | | | because his package delivers at the gym. |
| socks, shoes and hat all perfectly aligned. | | | | Again TMI! |
| These are the same folks that seem to not | | | | |
| sweat and may well send their workout clothes | | | | One thing that all these ladies and gentlemen |
| to the dry cleaner for that "just pressed" | | | | have in common is a desire to get off their |
| look. These are some of the same fabulous | | | | butts and get to the gym. They are light |
| people that use the cell phone while walking | | | | years ahead of the slugs that are sitting on |
| the treadmill. | | | | the couch eating Twinkies and chasing them |
| | | | with beer. I am of the mind that those are |
| The Rumpled Ones: Though this can happen any | | | | treats to have after you have done the |
| day or time of the week, I find it to be | | | | workout! The reality is that what people |
| especially prevalent on weekend mornings, say | | | | wear is meaningless, fun to watch and write |
| around 7 or 8 a.m. Bed head in place, crusty | | | | about, but meaningless none-the-less. This |
| eyes, the "what the hell am I doing here | | | | applies to everyone except FedEx. Please, I |
| after the thing I did last night" look; you | | | | implore you for the sake of mankind, wear |
| know the ones. They do have a certain | | | | something under those short shorts or take a |
| elegance in their wrinkled shirts and long, | | | | cue from the Terminally Fashionable and spend |
| made for the beach, board shorts. One thing I | | | | a couple of bucks to get your workout |
| found to be true though is that they are | | | | wardrobe an extreme makeover. If you don't |
| determined to work hard and I have watched | | | | cover up others will run the risk of |
| their improvements over time. I applaud these | | | | permanent retina damage, just like a solar |
| folks for not caring about what's going on | | | | eclipse. |